Fields Of Gold
by Wish I was Mrs. Danes 117
Summary: This is an AU Lupin and Tonks fic based on the song Fields of Gold by Eva Cassidy! WARNING: this is sad and contains some DH spoilers! I hope you enjoy and review!


**Disclaimer: **NO! Of course I don't own Harry Potter! You must've gone bonkers!

A/N: Hello, this is my first Lupin and Tonks fanfiction! I have written other fics though, so if you all think this sucks, I don't really have an excuse! Oh well! Hopefully you won't! Anyways this is an AU story about Lupin and Tonks from Book 6 on! You'll see why it's AU if you read it, but I can't explain it without ruining it! Well, I hope you all enjoy it!

This was beta'd by **hpgal1120**!!! My beautiful sister who couldn't stop crying through out the entire thing, so fair warning **HAVE KLEENEX AVAILABLE!** Also, to my love **MegLT,** this is for you, too!

_You'll remember me when the west wind moves  
Among the fields of barley  
You can tell the sun in his jealous sky  
When we walked in fields of gold_

They walked; their hands clasped swinging gently in the wind. Remus had been nervous all day. He wanted everything to be perfect for her. She deserved nothing but perfect after all he'd put her through. He, being an old-fashioned gentleman, had asked for her father's permission and Ted had remarkably given it to him. He never thought he'd see the day where he would be asking the woman he loved for her hand in marriage. He'd always kept that part of his heart closed for fear of it being broken or worse…hurting her instead. Werewolves simply don't get married and have a family. It just wasn't done. And he stood steadfast in this belief, but somehow, she'd gotten through the barriers and walls and he'd found himself falling in love with her. But, he knew better and knew that she deserved someone that he was not, someone who was whole.

He tried his best to make her see reason. To make her realize what could happen to her if they were together, the judgment that would be put upon her. But, she was also stubborn and wouldn't listen. He remained strong for nearly a year, but Dumbledore's death shook him hard. That was when he truly realized that they didn't have much time in this world, and he sure as hell wasn't planning on spending any more of it without Nymphadora Tonks. And that's why he is here today.

He has the ring in his jacket pocket, and now all he has to do was wait. Wait for the opportune moment.

They were strolling through her parents' backyard, making comfortable conversation as the wind rustled the barley plants that covered the field. They found a bench underneath a tall, beautiful oak tree and took a seat. They sat in a content silence for a few minutes before Remus managed to buck up the courage.

"Dora…" Remus said.

Tonks lifted her head to meet his loving gaze.

"Listen, I know that I haven't been the easiest person to get along with, that I've put you through so much more than you deserve, and I just wanted you to know that I'm sorry."  
Tonks went to protest, but Remus stopped her, "No, please let me get this out. If I don't I might lose the courage."

"What? _You_? Never!" Tonks scoffed jokingly.

Remus chuckled lightly. "What I'm trying to say is that I know that I've been daft and stupid over this past year when it came to our relationship, and I don't want to do that anymore. See, when I look in your eyes, I see the future. I see everything that I want in this life. And yes, it scares the bloody hell out of me that I depend on someone so much. But the truth is, whenever I see your smile, I'm not scared anymore. You are everything to me and so much more. So…" Remus got up from the bench and got down on one knee, "will you help me get the future that I want, by doing me the honor of becoming my wife?"

As Remus finished, tears were streaming from Tonks's crystal blue eyes, her hair, as pink as ever. She jumped up to her feet as Remus did the same. She threw her arms around his neck and kissed him with everything she had.

"So, should I take that as a yes?" Remus asked with a sheepish grin on his face when they broke apart.

"If you are even questioning me on that, you truly are daft." Tonks laughed through her tears, and Remus did the same while picking her up and twirling her around, both consumed in their own happiness.

_So she took her love for to gaze awhile  
Among the fields of barley  
In his arms she fell as her hair came down  
Among the fields of gold_

Remus was running. He was panting and sweating and crying. He needed to find her. He had finished off Dolohov and was making his way back into the castle when he'd run into Aberforth.

"_Remus, did Tonks ever find you?" Aberforth had questioned_

"_Dora? What do you mean? She's at her mother's." Remus answered, but even as he _

_said it, he knew that Tonks was not the person to sit and wait for news. In a second, his face paled. _

And now he is darting past spell after spell, running through the remains of the Hogwarts corridors. He needs to find her. Remus had been through many terrifying situations, but all of them paled in comparison to the fear he was feeling right now. If anything happened to her…

NO, no, he wouldn't think like that…he couldn't. She would be fine, everything would be…

Then he heard the maniacal laugh. He turned around slowly, not knowing or wanting to know what he was to see. When he managed to turn himself fully, he felt his heart skip a beat. There was his beautiful, strong wife being tortured at the hands of her dear Aunt Bellatrix. Her gut-wrenching screams were all he could here.

He doesn't fully remember what happens next, it was all a bit of a blur. He recalls taking out his wand and letting the spell fire out of his mouth without really thinking. And the next thing he knew, the infamous Bellatrix Lestrange was dead.

He sprinted to Dora, stepping over the dead bodies in his way. He fell to the ground at her side and held her head in his hands. She was so small, so fragile, too young to be this close to death.

"Dora…" Remus wept into her dull pink hair. He wanted it to be vibrant again; he wanted _her _to be vibrant again. He _needed_ her to live.

"Stay with me…Please stay with me. I can't do this without you. I need you, _Teddy _needs you. _Please…_" At this point he was sobbing uncontrollably, sweeping his hands across her beautiful face, wiping away the debris.

Her eyes opened a sliver, and looked at him. He couldn't bear to see her so weak. She was supposed to be the strong one. And then, with one small breath, she was gone.

_Will you stay with me will you be my love  
Among the fields of barley  
And you can tell the sun in his jealous sky  
When we walked in fields of gold_

"He won't move." Andromeda said to Harry, Ron, and Hermione. "He's been sitting in that rocking chair staring out the window for the past day. I think he's given up." She said close to tears.

"I'll go talk to him." Harry said to her.

As he opened up the door to the bedroom, Harry could make out Lupin's thin frame. Harry had seen him after many transformations and through many dark times, but nothing compared to seeing him like this. His face was gaunt and haggard, with dark circles under his eyes, which Harry assumed were from crying.

Harry sat down next to the bed next to Remus in his rocking chair. For a long while, there was silence between the two, but Remus soon broke it.

"Did I ever tell you that I proposed to her underneath that tree over there?" Remus asked, his voice barely audible.

"Really?" asked Harry, not really knowing what else to say.

"It was the summer after Dumbledore had passed, and we had been taking a stroll through the fields of barley. And then, I asked, and she accepted." Remus said with a sigh. "What did I do to ever deserve someone like her?" Remus asked.

Harry stayed silent.

"She is…was beautiful, passionate, and strong." His voice broke in the middle. "I have racked my brain for the past day, and I still can't seem to figure out why anyone like her would choose someone like me." Remus laughed, his eyes watering slightly. "Why would she choose some old, scraggly werewolf to give her heart to?"

"Remus, don't talk like that." Harry said, trying to stop him in his self-deterioration.

"And why shouldn't I?" His voice rose slightly. "It's the truth. I made her life a living hell for a year, when I should've been with her! Think of everything we've missed because of my idiocy!" Remus was close to losing it, and Harry was reminded of the time when Lupin was planning on walking out on Tonks and the unborn child. "Harry, what am I supposed to do? She was everything to me? How am I supposed to explain to my son that his mother can't be here with him? How will he ever know what a wonderful person she was?" Remus asked, a few tears leaking from his eyes.

"We will make sure he knows it. We will tell him stories about her and let him know that she died trying to make the world a better place for him. And he will know that she loved him with everything that she had." Harry said while resting a comforting hand on Remus's shoulder.

Remus was about to say something, when the door creaked open. In came Hermione and Ron, Hermione carrying a gurgling Teddy in her arms.

"We thought you might like some company." She said, gently passing the baby to his father.

Remus looked down adoringly at his son, wiping a few tears away from his own eyes.

"We'll leave you two alone, then." Harry said while ushering Ron and Hermione out of the room.

As they were leaving they heard, "Did I ever tell you how your mother and I met? Well, It was three years ago, and we were all at Headquarters when a twenty-some year old girl stumbled into the room…"

_I never made promises lightly  
And there have been some that I've broken  
But I swear in the days still left  
We will walk in fields of gold  
We'll walk in fields of gold_

Remus stood underneath the oak tree staring blankly at his wife's grave. It had been a beautiful service…well, as beautiful as a funeral can be. Harry had arranged it because Remus and Andromeda weren't really up for the task. It truly meant a great deal to Remus that Harry had Tonks buried underneath "their tree".

It had been an hour since they had laid her to rest, and he was the only person that hadn't left. Somehow, he couldn't get the make himself leave just yet. The pain was still so new. Hopefully in a few years it would turn into a dull ache that he felt every once in a while, but even as he considered that thought, Remus knew that that wasn't the case. He knew that no matter how hard he tried the thought of losing Dora, his beautiful wife, would always break his heart.

"I'm sorry Dora." Remus sighed, holding back the tears. He had cried enough over the past couple of days. "I don't really know what else to say except that I'm sorry. You don't deserve this. This shouldn't be you, it should be me. If only…" Remus' voice broke. "If only I had been there, maybe I could've saved you. Why did you have to leave your mother's house?! You'd have been perfectly safe there! Maybe none of this would've happened." Remus looked down. "Look at me, your not even here, and somehow we are still fighting." He laughed.

He wiped a lone tear from his cheek and took a deep breath. "I love you. I just wanted you to know that. I don't know if I told you that enough while you were still living, but I want you to know it now. You gave me everything, and I'm so grateful for you and the time that we had. I only wish we could've had more." Remus sighed.

"I promise that Teddy will be okay. I'll do everything in my power to protect that little boy and make sure of it. I know that I've made a lot of promises in the past, and some of them…most of them I haven't been able to keep, but this is not one of those. I _will_ follow through here. I love him…and you, too much not to."

"Be safe up there, Dora. Give Sirius and James hell for me." Remus laughed and placed the bouquet of flowers he had been holding on to her grave.

As Remus walked back to the house he looked up at the setting sun. Its rays spread over the field, coating it in a brilliant golden dust.

_Many years have passed since those summer days  
Among the fields of barley  
See the children run as the sun goes down  
As you lie in fields of gold_

Remus looked on as his four-year-old son chased the grasshoppers and butterflies through the growing barley field of his mother-in-law's backyard. He couldn't believe it had been four years, to the day, since he'd lost his beloved Dora.

The pain had turned into a dull roar, but was still very evident every single day. It was there whenever Teddy would morph into something utterly nutty to put a smile on his face, like Dora would do. It was there when he would read Teddy a book at night. And it was painfully apparent when Teddy would ask about his mother.

But, being a father, Remus would endure this pain if it meant that Teddy would be happy. After all, he promised.

He told Teddy stories of his mother's clumsiness and her fun-loving antics, but most of all he told him of her courage. He reminded him constantly of the fact that his mother had wanted him to live in a world of happiness and that she would've done anything to achieve that goal…and she did. And that is why they were there today.

Remus gazed down at the grave of his wife.

"Hello, Dora. It's me. I'm sorry we couldn't stop by last week. It was a bit hectic with Harry and Ginny's wedding and all. Oh, I wish you could've been there. Teddy was lovely as the ring-bearer. Although he did stumble once, after all, he is your son. You'd have been so proud." Remus sighed.

"Teddy drew you a picture. It's of you, me and him playing outside in the backyard. He wanted me to give it to you, so," Remus placed the folded piece of paper next to the tombstone along with a flower that Teddy had picked on the way there. "We miss you, Dora. He asks about you everyday, always asking what you would do in certain situations. He wants so much for you to be proud of him." Remus said with his eyes welling up slightly. "I know you would be. I certainly am."

Remus leaned over and placed a hand on the headstone, while he whispered, "I love you, Dora."

_You'll remember me when the west wind moves  
Among the fields of barley  
You can tell the sun in his jealous sky  
When we walked in fields of gold_

He began walking, all the while keeping an eye on his growing boy. He truly was one of the most remarkable things to ever happen to him. As he watched, he felt a light breeze ruffle his hair and the late afternoon sun beat down on the world, turning the ordinary land into a field of gold.

A/N: I hope you all enjoyed it! I know it was a bit sad and rather long, and Remus was a bit OOC, but it was the best I could do! Please leave a review, it would be greatly appreciated!

Thank you


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